I don’t remember the exact day it happened but I remember knowing it was a milestone in my life. The day my kids no longer had to face me to be fed but they could now feed themselves. There are certain milestones that mother’s anticipate simply because it gives you a little bit more freedom. The day you throw down some Cheerios and those little fingers feed themselves with no assistance. Better yet, the day you put a smaller version of your dinner in front of them and they eagerly use a fork to feed themselves. Am I the only mother that looked forward to those milestones? Perhaps, but your kids learn something when they feed themselves. They learn some independence and confidence and some initiative too.
We learn those same qualities when we self-feed God’s Word to ourselves. Throughout my life God has given me an appetite for His Word at just the right times in my life. Are there ever seasons in your life when you are craving more of Him but you don’t know what to do? I hope you do experience those seasons. The most memorable season of my life when this happened was when my daughter was born. I believe, looking back, I was struggling with postpartum depression and a lot of life changes had occurred in a quick time frame. I remember crying for no reason and feeling like I had lost complete control of my life. In a moment of desperation one day I put both kids down for a nap and went to my room to be alone. I remember grabbing the first Bible I could find and reading Psalms. I don’t remember anything I read I just remember a wave of comfort and hope coming over me. I needed to know that I was going to be okay. My husband was terrific through this time giving me the space I needed and listening when I ranted and sobbed. But ladies, your husband is not your Savior nor should he try to be. The hope Christ gives you can only come from Him.
Looking back over that time I’m glad I had the Holy Spirit prompting me to read His Word because self-feeding was important during that time. For one, we had just moved here and I didn’t really have any friends yet otherwise, I probably would have turned to them instead of God. I know there are times in all our lives when we feel utterly alone and it is so easy to sit and cry or stare into space but those are the times to grasp for God’s Word and read. When I’m in self-feeding mode I don’t even read with a pen in my hand–I don’t take notes or tweet or anything, I simply read. There is something to be said for reading God’s Word with no ulterior motives.